The “Penny Dating Method” is a new term TikTok user Erika Tham, which is used to refer to the latest way that some men are mistreating their girlfriends these days. Basically, it has to do with a man going out of his way to give 110% effort at first, only to slowly reduce his level of care for the other person in the relationship.
Erika Tham shared her conversation with a male friend about this method in a now-viral video. The friend explained that the goal of penny dating is to make the partner feel lucky to receive even the bare minimum of attention and affection, ultimately lowering their self-esteem and making them more accepting of the penny dater’s behavior.
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The “penny dating method” is a manipulative and toxic dating tactic that involves showering a potential partner with excessive attention and affection in the early stages of a relationship, only to gradually withdraw that attention and affection over time. This creates a pattern of intermittent reinforcement, where the partner is constantly seeking the approval and affection of the penny dater, making them more susceptible to manipulation and control.
“In order to get her interested obviously at first you have to be feeding her hundred dollar bills,” Erika Tham explained. “But putting in hundred dollar bills is a lot of work and you don’t always want to be doing that, so eventually you reduce it to 90.”
Erika Tham called what comes next the “sick” part saying, “The next thing you do is bring it back up to 95. Instead of feeling like they’ve lost 5, suddenly she feels like she’s gained 5.”
This behavior continues as the culprit keeps on, “repeating this cycle and weaning her off your effort until you get to the point where you’re giving her pennies and suddenly, she’s excited to receive a nickel.”
This is the type of behavior exhibited by narcissists in their personal relationships. The idea is to make the other person constantly feel like they have done something wrong and are the one to blame for any lack of affection from their partner.
The penny dating method is a toxic and harmful dating tactic that can have serious emotional consequences for the partner. It can lead to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and low self-esteem, and it can make it difficult for the partner to form healthy relationships in the future.
