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Tips for Talking to Our Children in Tense Times

Tensions and horrific news during wartime make it increasingly difficult to navigate conversations with children.

parent speaking to child (courtesy of NATAL)

by Dr. Nira Kaplansky, Deputy Director of NATAL’s Help-Line for trauma survivors

As a parent, there is a natural and profound desire to shield our children from harm, offer them solace in moments of distress, and strive to maintain their happiness as much as possible. With the prevailing tensions and the onslaught of horrific news in Israel and all areas of violence worldwide, navigating conversations with our young ones becomes a delicate task.

It’s not merely about finding the right words to say –  it’s equally about creating a space where they feel heard and understand their concerns. This balance between speaking and listening is pivotal in ensuring our children feel safe, valued, and reassured amidst the complexities surrounding them.

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Navigating Trauma with Insight and Experience

Over the years, NATAL has been at the forefront of addressing trauma. With two decades of experience, the organization has witnessed firsthand the devastating impact of war and terror on individuals and communities.

Our trauma does not define us, but how we respond to it can shape our future. It’s essential to harness that resilience and use it as a beacon of hope during challenging times.

Coping at Home With Your Family and Children

Coping at home during challenging times requires a blend of self-awareness, connection, and intentional self-care. Creating a safe and nurturing environment can make a significant difference, allowing family members to express emotions, find solace, and engage in comforting activities together.

Be Together and Be Present:

Amid the uncertainty, solace often lies in the embrace of our loved ones. Prioritize time with your children, listen intently, and converse with them genuinely. These moments strengthen bonds and provide them an avenue to convey their feelings and offer solace to peers. Regularly reach out to distant family and friends, reminding them and your children of the comforting truth: “We stand united, caring for one another.”

Cultivating Informed Awareness:

While it’s important to keep our young ones informed, ensuring the information they receive is accurate, essential, and age-appropriate is equally vital. Shielding them entirely might not be beneficial, but overwhelming them with excessive details can be detrimental. Strike a balance.

Mindful Media Consumption:

In our digital age, uplifting and distressing information is just a click away. Children and adults alike should be cautious about their media exposure. Designate a singular device in a separate room for essential updates, ensuring other devices are reserved for less stressful content. Remember, continuously witnessing unsettling images can leave lasting imprints on our psyche. Exercise discretion in what we view and share, protecting ourselves and our larger community.

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Acceptance and Understanding:

These challenging times can evoke a myriad of emotions in each of us. Acknowledge and validate every emotion your child expresses, reassuring them that feelings of fear, sadness, or anxiety are natural human responses to the world around them. By doing so, you pave the way for healing and understanding.

Engaging Distractions:

Even in tense times, the power of diversion cannot be underestimated. Dive into playful activities together like board games, puzzles, or an art project. These not only serve as a distraction but also foster togetherness. If solo activities are more appealing, organizing photos or delving into a TV series can be therapeutic.

Holistic Well-being:

Amidst the external chaos, finding internal calm becomes indispensable. Deep breaths, visualizing serene places, and physical closeness can act as anchors. Incorporate physical activities like calming yoga sessions into your routine. Remember, even a simple act like brewing a cup of tea or sharing a genuine smile can significantly uplift spirits.

Relax and Ground Yourselves:

Despite the grimness of the present, it can be hard, but one must try, to remember that this too shall pass. While we can’t control external circumstances, our response to them lies within our grasp. Seek out small comforts and remember that these moments, however challenging, are fleeting. Find solace in the minor acts of self-care, they often yield the most profound sense of peace.

Companionship in Thought:

In times of adversity, solitude can sometimes amplify our anxieties. Ensure you’re connected with your emotions and, when needed, share your feelings with someone you trust. Emotions shared are burdens halved. Don’t stay alone with your thoughts.

Offering Support to Those Giving Support

NATAL is a beacon of hope for 9.7 million Israelis amid adversity. With the nation’s challenges, the Helpline is in high demand, managing over 5,000 calls daily.

To continue providing this crucial support, NATAL needs an immediate infusion of $2.2 million. These funds will enable to provide crucial support. NATAL pledges that 100% of the donations will be channeled directly into patient care.

On November 30, 2023, at 583 Park Avenue in New York, American Friends of NATAL (AFN) will host a fundraising event. Honorees are Dr. Itamar Barnea, NATAL’s Chief psychologist, a renowned clinical psychologist, and a POW in Syria during the Yom Kippur War while serving as a combat pilot and Ofer Yardeni, the esteemed Chairman and CEO of Stonehenge NYC and a dedicated philanthropist. Together, and with your unwavering support, we aim to continue NATAL’s legacy of offering support to those who support others.

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