Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the cinema, Shark Tank celeb and Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban will be attempting (and most likely failing, since a few characters have to die to make the movie interesting) to protect the free world from flying shark attacks in his role as U.S. President in Sharknado 3.
Co-starring will be conservative pit bull Ann Coulter who won’t be playing a shark (she will have a role as Cuban’s VP) but kind of looks like one. Given her resemblance to the sharp-toothed creatures, perhaps there will be a romance sub-plot and Coulter will hook up with a shark? Stranger things have happened; a British Jewish female millionaire married a dolphin who lives in Eilat.
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If Mark Cuban becomes President of the United States with Ann Coulter as a Vice President, the country is kind of asking to attacked by sharks. Given Cuban’s libertarian and Coulter’s far right views, one wonders if there will be long discussions on why it is a waste of taxpayer’s money, perhaps even a violation of citizens’ personal freedom and feeling of personal responsibility to defend themselves with assault rifles, to dispatch any kind of security forces to try to get rid of the killer sharks.
Maybe Sarah Palin will come riding in, ridiculing PETA and animal rights activists she believes advocate kind treatment of the sharks and harpoons them one by one with the rallying cry “Kill, baby, Kill.” (Oh wait, her career ended with the bent back comment in the rambling speech in Iowa, so no one would be interested).
Bo Derek, Jerry Springer, Chris Kirkpatrick and Chris Jericho will also appear in the film. And a lot of sharks.
