In my work, I get to cruise the Internet, no, make it surf the Internet, trolling for stories. It’s what I do. Which is why I almost fell off my seat when I discovered the above headline, and just knew you would, too.
This is because anyone living east of the Ural mountains knows that MILF stands for Mothers I’d Like to F**k, and so, restoring MILF trust seems like something every man (and woman, come to think of it) would be interested in.
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Turns out the headline referred to the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, which is a rebel group in the southern Philippines seeking autonomy of the Moro people from the central government.
Who knew?
The story, then, is not about getting those MILFs to trust more, but rather for the Philippines House of Representatives to trust the MILFs, who, apparently killed 44 Special Action Force (SAF) members at the 2015 Mamasapano incident.
The Mamasapano “incident” involved a police operation on Sunday, January 25, 2015, in the municipality of Mamasapano, between the Special Action Force of the Philippine Police, joined by U.S. Army Special Forces and the FBI —versus the Bangsamoro Islamic Freedom Fighters (BIFF) and the MILF.
OK, I know, it’s hard to keep a straight face when you’re thinking about the MILFs and the BIFFs going to war, but, tragically, the clash ended with 44 Philippine cops dead, and 18 MILFs and 5 BIFFs killed as well.
Now Representative Rufus Rodriguez, chairman of the committee dealing with granting autonomy to Bangsamoro, said lawmakers will learn to trust the MILF again if the MILFs turn in their firearms and help government take down a local bomb maker named Basit Usman, who escaped the botched operation.
Like I said, you can’t trust those MILFs — and BIFFs.
