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Is It Time to Stop Featuring Shia LaBeouf’s Sex Fantasies as News?

'Nymphomaniac Volume I (long version)' Premiere - 64th Berlinale International Film Festival

Last February, Jewish and/or Christian movie star Shia LaBeouf, 28, sat for five days in a Los Angeles art gallery with a brown paper bag over his head that read: “I AM NOT FAMOUS ANYMORE.” He got a whole lot of famous out of that one, which was to be expected.

But then, Dazed magazine’s Aimee Cliff published, three days ago, an account by LaBeouf of some of the things that had gone on during those five days in a bag, which best fit the old Penthouse Forum.

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Cliff asked him: Did any experiences stand out to you as particularly moving or unsettling?

Shia LaBeouf replied: One woman who came with her boyfriend, who was outside the door when this happened, whipped my legs for ten minutes and then stripped my clothing and proceeded to rape me… There were hundreds of people in line when she walked out with disheveled hair and smudged lipstick. It was no good, not just for me but her man as well. On top of that my girl was in line to see me, because it was Valentine’s Day and I was living in the gallery for the duration of the event – we were separated for five days, no communication. So it really hurt her as well, as I guess the news of it traveled through the line. When she came in she asked for an explanation, and I couldn’t speak, so we both sat with this unexplained trauma silently. It was painful.

Remember Piers Morgan, the former CNN guy who didn’t quite make it to Peter Jennings dimensions. Actually, forget Jennings, he didn’t even make it to Larry King level, the guy he replaced.

Morgan has been accusing LaBeouf of lying, insisting his rape story was a “cheap” publicity stunt.

Well, sure, it was cheap—you don’t even have to cut down trees to publish these interviews—and it was a stunt, because, like I said, it reads like a Penthouse Forum letter. But there’s something Morgan isn’t getting, which is that Shia LaBeouf is a nut job, and his going public with what has to be his little, submissive fantasy is merely a reflection of his mental illness—and that part is not a stunt. He really is a sick puppy.

“Shia LaBeouf’s claim to have been ‘raped’ is truly pathetic & demeans real rape victims. Grow up, you silly little man, ” Morgan Tweeted.

And followed it with:

“People are actually defending Shia LaBeouf. The world’s gone mad. He’s invented a supposed ‘rape’ for cheap PR – utterly shameful.”

And also:

“Shia LaBeouf invited people to do what they want to him, then let a woman ‘rape’ him without doing or saying a word? Utterly ridiculous.”

Now you probably understand why Piers Morgan didn’t make the Peter Jennings grade. Because Peter Jennings wouldn’t have touched this sad story.

Everyone reading Aimee Cliff’s interview knew it was about the nut job thing—all except for this British media genius.

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