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Steve Ballmer’s Bucket List: Buy Clippers, Get Bar Mitzvahed

Steve Ballmer

During an interview with the Wall Street Journal, former Microsoft CEO and fresh owner of the Los Angeles Clippers Steve Ballmer, 58, announced his intentions to have a Bar Mitzvah.

Sam Melnick, writing for JSpace News, noted that Ballmer’s mother, Beatrice Dworkin, was half Jewish. Seeing as her name was Jewish, we can probably conclude it was her father who belonged to the tribe, which means that she was not Jewish at all.

She didn’t feel Jewish, and did not keep a religious home, hence the absence of a bar mitzvah for little Stevie, who actually wasn’t Jewish either.

But then, recently, he decided to look for his Jewish heritage. Melnick reports that as CEO of Microsoft, Ballmer had a lot of business in Israel. In 2008, he actually said that “Microsoft was just as much an Israeli company as it was an American.”

How can we not accept him as one of us after that one?

He did three trips to Israel as CEO of Microsoft. His last trip was in 2012, shortly after the launch of Windows 8.

OK, we’ll forgive him that one.

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