Published On: Sat, Oct 4th, 2014

Netanyahu Denies Ever Eating Non-Kosher Food, Angry at Media for stepping into his Plates

bibi on channel 2

It’s gotta’ be really funny that the Jewish State’s equivalent of “I never had sex with that woman” should be “I never touched that pork.” But, apparently, that’s what Prime Minister Netanyahu insists is his version of reality, and he did so in an interview with Israel’s Channel 2 News just before Yom Kippur, so it has to be true.

The prime minister was really pissed at what he described as the media stepping into his plates. he even suggested installing CCTV wherever he eats, so folks could observe how careful he is.

Naturally, it’s never the crime, it’s always the coverup.

“I have never eaten non-kosher food, ” he told his interviewer, suggesting that while he was dining at a totally traif restaurant in Manhattan (actually, they were two totally traif restaurants, one for lunch with Sheldon Adelson, one for dinner with Mort Zukerman and other tycoons) – he never touched anything that anyone in Leviticus would have called him on.

“I have kashrut supervisors at my side in this matter, ” he declared, and the press in Israel are convinced he meant his wife, Sarah and his two sons. Now, since one of the Netanyahu boys has been dating a Norwegian Christian girl, he might not qualify for the kashrut thing, but Sarah has to be trustworthy…

So it’s all good. All we need to do, really, is to check with the yeshiva dean who gave Sarah Netanyahu her rabbinic ordination and we’ll consider the matter closed…

It’s really a matter of decorum. You can’t be the prime minister of the Jewish State who spends most of his time declaring how you’re the defender of Jews everywhere, and eat crustaceans and pigs. And you can’t be dining in pig and crustacean restaurants and then claim you only eat kosher.

Unlike some other cities in the world, New York is practically paved with quality kosher restaurants, great kosher steak houses and a few Italian joints that would make the Pope convert to Judaism. So why must Bibi even set foot in those non-kosher joints?

Because he doesn’t give a hoot about kashrut. It’s OK, it’s not the worst thing you could say about him, but it’s a fact. If he cared – he’d stay away from traif places on the same day he represents the Jewish nation at the General Assembly.

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