No one ever said that “Manliness” is next to godliness. And for good reason. Whether you call it that or being macho, anilines can be bad for any relationship, including those with coworkers at the office. And now, a study led by UC Riverside associate professor of management Michael Haselhuhn has found that one’s sense of masculinity, however, can even impede an ability to forgive.
The more men are concerned about appearing masculine, the less likely they will forgive a co-worker for a transgression such as missing an important meeting, because they view forgiveness as a feminine trait, Haselhuhn and his co-author, Margaret E. Ormiston of George Washington University, found.
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Manliness is a complex concept that has evolved significantly over time and across cultures. It often involves qualities associated with masculinity, such as strength, courage, independence, and leadership. However, the specific attributes associated with manliness can vary depending on cultural, historical, and societal factors.
Traditional notions of manliness often emphasized physical strength, stoicism, and the ability to provide for one’s family. Men were expected to be the breadwinners and protectors of their households.
In recent decades, however, there has been a growing recognition that manliness can be expressed in a variety of ways. The concept has expanded to include emotional intelligence, empathy, and the ability to build strong relationships. Some argue that traditional notions of manliness can be harmful, as they can limit men’s emotional expression and contribute to toxic masculinity.
What’s more, men who are not inclined to forgive are also more likely seek revenge or avoid the transgressor, which contributes to an unhealthy and less effective work environment, the research found. They also view men who forgive as unmanly.
Haselhuhn and Ormiston, however, also found that a simple intervention can reduce unforgiving impacts of masculinity concerns. Study participants who were sensitive about their masculinity became more willing to forgive after they had a chance to describe a couple experiences in which they felt they acted as real men.
“So, we hypothesized that forgiveness carries some gendered implications, and perhaps people who forgive are perceived as more feminine and less masculine,” Haselhuhn said. “And if that’s the case, men who are really concerned about appearing like real men should be the people who are least likely to forgive.”
