Dave Portnoy (Facebook)
Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy is really not happy with the new “Torpedo Bats” that the New York Yankees debuted over the weekend with the start of the 2025 Major League Baseball (MLB) season. “Emergency Press Conference – Ban the Yankees Torpedo Bat Before it Ruins Baseball,” Portnoy tweeted.
Torpedo bats are designed with extra wood, increasing mass in the area most likely to make contact with the ball. Each player uses a slightly different model, with the bat’s shape custom-tailored to maximize impact on every swing. However, Major League Baseball has confirmed the legality of these bats, which feature an unconventional barrel positioned closer to the hitter’s hands.
On Saturday, the Yankees hit a franchise-record nine home runs, homering three times in a row -on back-to-back-to-back pitches – to start the game. And that is not all. On Sunday, they tied the Major League record with 15 home runs in their first three games of the season.
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But not all of the Yankees are using the bats. Their star slugger, Aaron Judge, eschews them and still hit four home runs over the weekend.
“The Yankees hired an MIT physicist to basically take wood from the other part of the bat – near the handle and label and put it in the sweet spot – making the sweet spot bigger. They did this because Anthony Volpe sucks and he kept getting jammed and sawed off,” Portnoy said in a video he posted on Twitter. “And they’re like, ‘how do we make him not suck. Let’s just make this bat called the torpedo bat, where basically if you swing and you make contact on the handle, get sawed off, it’s a home run.”
“If you get jammed and it’s a home run, that doesn’t mean you suddenly got better, that’s just some geek from MIT, some physicists ruining 100 years of baseball, or 200 years of baseball,” Dave Portnoy added. “Listen, if MLB wants to sit on their ass and not outlaw this torpedo bat then all the teams are gonna do it. And every game is gonna be 100-98 and there’s gonna be 3,000 home runs.”
Founded in 2003 in Milton, Massachusetts, Barstool Sports is a digital media company that produces content focused on sports and pop-culture. Barstool Sports began as a small blog, but it quickly grew into one of the most popular sports websites in the world.
Born on March 22, 1977, in Swampscott, Massachusetts, David Portnoy is an American businessman, blogger, and podcaster and gambler. He is the founder and owner of Barstool Sports, a sports and pop culture blog. Portnoy is known for his controversial and outspoken personality. He has been criticized for his comments about women and minorities, but he also has a large and loyal following.
