By Contributing Author
Recently, few people will be surprised by an open relationship and free marriage, and many studies confirm that monogamy is not peculiar to people. And if you feel that freedom in a relationship is what you and your partner need, then it’s time to discuss this with him. Here it is very important to agree on key points in advance.
An open relationship is built on different principles: someone allows only small intrigues, someone agrees on a third in a common bed, and someone goes on dates when he wants, but still returns home to his regular partner.
Contrary to popular belief, a very strong relationship with a partner is required for a free relationship to really work. A very deep mutual trust is needed, and this can be achieved only if you both talk about it, discuss the acceptable and set certain boundaries because they are needed even in an open relationship.
5 key points that you need to discuss
For a successful open relationship, you should discuss the following points:
- Make sure both of you want it. Unfortunately, it often happens that only one wants freedom, and the second, reluctantly, agrees for fear of losing his partner. Such a scheme either will not work at all, or will bring the second to the deepest depression. The only thing that can be done here is to talk frankly and explain why you want an open relationship, what it will give you and what it will give your partner.
- Define rules. Talk with your partner how you imagine it: is it about individual dates or a long-term relationship, will you talk to each other about new passions? Think about everything that can upset you in this context and tell each other about it right away.
- Agree when to discuss it again. Nothing lasts forever, and similar arrangements too. Therefore, it is better to decide in advance when you will return to this conversation again. It can be any period – a month, two, six months. But it’s better not to make it too big, especially at first. Having discussed all over again, you can revise part of the rules or add new ones. And, most importantly, you can make sure that no one has changed their minds and everyone is happy.
- Make a list who it is impossible to meet. This is mandatory, and this list can include anyone – relatives, friends, girlfriends, colleagues.
- Talk about jealousy. Do not have illusions – jealousy will be in any case. And that is why it is better to honestly tell each other in advance what exactly can cause you jealousy or even just a slight feeling that you are not being paid enough attention because of a new partner. Everyone can have their own sore spot, and it is better not to touch them. A sincere and open conversation about this will help both of you to take care of each other’s feelings, especially in those moments when you will be with someone else. And it is precisely this mutual concern that can make your open relationship even stronger.