Perhaps understandably, I have found some answers and comfort in the twelve-step model many alcoholics and addicts turn to for their healing. Growing up with all of that Holocaust all around me took its toll, one that waited years to reveal its true legacy. The year 2009 began a period of enormous introspection and transformation for me, including but not limited to my divorce from my kids’ father. Around that same time, I began to devour the teachings of these programs and still do, at times. There were (and are) cycles to break, and no one else had broken them for me (nor are they ever going to). No, alcohol wasn’t our issue; the Holocaust was. Without getting too much into the language of these patterns and ways of being, it started to become clear
that I wasn’t alone as far as feeling after-effects of the way I grew up. But I also began to wonder things like, Would alcohol
have been easier to deal with? Perhaps more accepted or understandable.
Regardless, the fallout of being the grandchild and daughter of this history was just as all-encompassing. There was an aftermath to wade through, and that aftermath was my life. I didn’t want to die like my mom at the age of fiftyone and a lifelong victim who’d never fulfilled her enormous potential. As I get closer to that age, I wonder what there is beyond fifty-one and wonder if I will get any chances beyond that. I’ve told myself countless times that it’s “too late” to do something, that I’m “too old, ” that fifty-one is coming up just around the corner. Then, equally as many times, I have reminded myself what Bubby showed me about strength and character. How she emerged as a butterfly in her seventies and eighties. How anything is possible when you shift your perspective and remember to be grateful for all of it.
Will you offer us a hand? Every gift, regardless of size, fuels our future.
Your critical contribution enables us to maintain our independence from shareholders or wealthy owners, allowing us to keep up reporting without bias. It means we can continue to make Jewish Business News available to everyone.
You can support us for as little as $1 via PayPal at email@example.com.