Published On: Thu, Feb 19th, 2015

How Lena Dunham Found Out People Don’t Have Sex through their Pores

Lena Dunham really wants us to know something...again, but can't seem to get properly dressed to do it.

Lena Dunham instagram

Lena Dunham tells us all how she found out about sex (yawn). Okay, sounds kinda boring, but everyone is talking about it.

Oh, and I won’t mention that she ditched the glam that master designer Zac Posen gave her for one fine evening at the Golden Globes when she was dressed charmingly for once in a retro red dress rather than some huge monstrosity that looks like it was made out of toilet paper, or some silly dungarees and Chanel combination she blamed on her half-Jewish, half-Wasp root confusion.

Nor will I mention how annoying it was that she compared the Bill Cosby rape scandal to the Holocaust, because she apologized. And anything that ranges from unpleasant to unspeakably heinous ends up being compared to the Holocaust by some birdbrain at some point, so if it hadn’t been done by Lena Dunham, it would have been someone else.

Lena Dunham told People (the magazine, not people) that at the tender age of seven she found out that people were not impregnated through their pores by holding hands, but by a penis being inserted into a vagina. She knew what a vagina was because her family was very open minded, so she says, and used the word vagina without shame and without pet names.

So one wonders, given that she was allowed to ask any question she liked about vaginas, what possessed her to inspect her baby sister’s vagina for no apparent reason, as she discusses in her memoir Not That Kind of Girl. No, she writes about inspecting her infant sibling’s vagina as if it is the most natural thing to do, without any predatory instincts. Oh, wait, then she wrote, “Basically anything a sexual predator might do to woo a small suburban girl, I was trying.” On her sister. And then she likes to call out other people for being pervs. But that’s okay, because anything between girls, regardless of their age or consent is okay, right Lena?

Ah-hem..okay back to her confession on how she found out about sexual intercourse and how babies are made. Oh, that People interview. Yawn. Well, she says for some reason that cannot be fathomed, that she would have preferred hearing that people make babies through their pores. She was speaking to Planned Parenthood too. Forgot to mention that.

Oh, and at the very top of this article, I mentioned she had ditched her elegant look Zac Posen had designed for her at the Golden Globes. Yeah, she went back to wearing something dumb. Some ugly sweater with a pink flying creature on it. Of course she was being ironic. Oh, ha, ha. Now move on.

Lena Dunham sweater


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