Who will do the beating up? Bethenny Frankel isn’t saying. Maybe she is paying the anorexic mafia in protection pounds. Maybe she has an imaginary Shylock pursuing her every other day for a pound of fat? (sorry to use an anti-Semitic symbol–although it is from Shakespeare, after all– to create a Jewish angle. I didn’t really need to. Bethenny Frankel is Jewish by birth, so it was gratuitous and in bad taste–oops taste? Not tasting anything; Must. Stay. Thin!)
Bethenny Frankel, some say, has gone too far into Thindom. She could dump her reality show on Bravo, “Real Housewives of New York, ” and do a Karen Carpenter biopic (can she sing? No problem, it can be dubbed). I’m not in the habit of obsessing over whether celebrity boobs are real, but I do in Bethenny’s case. She is just so darned thin. How can someone have famine victim legs and breasts like that? I’m surprise her belly isn’t distended.
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After causing a furore a few months ago by bragging that she could wear her 8 year old’s underwear, she defended her (lack of) weight on the Meredith Vieira show. “I was sick over the holidays. I don’t know, do I look bad? Do I look like I need to eat a burger? I don’t know. I feel like, ‘Who cares?’ They are always going to say something. I do have a brand called Skinnygirl, so I am going to get beaten up for it (!!!). It would be bad if I were overweight (or normal weight?) and had a brand called Skinnygirl.”
The 44 year old then had a mock verbal bitch slapping contest with the host. Vieira called Frankel out for denying in her last appearance on the talk show that she was returning to “Real Housewives of New York City.” Two weeks later, Frankel announced she was going to be on the show. “Why would you lie to me?” asked Vieira, “Or as they say on Housewives, why would you lie to me, bitch?”
Frankel bitched back, “Listen bitch. Did I say I have no deal to go back on Bravo, did I say that? I was not lying. No this is truth. I had no deal to go back no Bravo, and you know Meredith Vieira, with your own talk show, that if you don’t have a deal and it’s not signed, the deal can fall through at any time.”
Just like if you have a brand called Skinnygirl and gain a few pounds, the anorexic mafia will come after you with baseball bats and brass knuckles and beat you up …. if they have the strength.