Published On: Tue, Aug 26th, 2014

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Julianna Margulies, Win Emmys, Otherwise It Was Blah

64th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

OK, that’s it, we’re not watching this stupid thing ever again.

Honestly. All they did, it seemed, was reprint last years’s results and the year before that, and the year before that. As if nothing better than the Big Bang Theory has happened in television comedy—and you and I know TBBT is so dying, so bereft of new ideas, you know they’re only in it for the money. OK, a lot of money. But Jim Parsons won best actor in a comedy series for the fourth time in the last five years. Good for him.

He beat William H. Macy in Shameless. Should I repeat that? The guy playing Sheldon Cooper, a neurotic physicist with assburger’s syndrome, beat out the guy playing Frank Gallagher, the unrepentant alcoholic who finds ways to inject drugs up his rectum when he can no longer ingest them.

Nice, safe and familiar beat out creative, powerful and edgy. Why are we still following the Emmys?

Same for Modern Family, which won best comedy series for the fifth year in a row—are you kidding me? That show has been running on creative fumes for at least two seasons. It’s basically repeats of its own earlier shows, someone needs to shoot this dog in the head, not award it a new lease on life. Now they’ll never go away.

I for one binged on the second season of Orange Is the New Black as soon as Netflix released it, because it was hypnotically real and funny and unexpected and fresh, and I normally love women behind bars movies. So sue me, I’m broken inside. And guess what – Orange got nothing, a fat, unadulterated nothing. Instead the comedy winner was this 1998 concept thing about how we all have different kinds of families, one with a rich, old, white dude married to a Latina, one with two gay guys (daring!), and one just a couple of heteros, and they all love each other and have a really quirky life.

Five years in a row? Really?

So, fine, we did get two Jewish winners who deserved it. Veep’s Julia Louis-Dreyfus, has reduced Washington politics to the self absorbed, conniving gutter where it belongs, and her character is so different from her Elaine Marie Benes in Seinfeld, she deserved to win best actress in a comedy series just for her ability to break away from her ’90s track.

Likewise, Julianna Margulies so deserved her best actress in a drama series win for The Good Wife, because she’s so beautiful and real and deep and – did I mention beautiful? Seriously, though, I could watch the Good Wife for decades to come. It could become the new law and Order, as far as I’m concerned, with spin-offs. Alicia Florrick’s kids could have their own shows. we could have The Good Wife NYC, London, Mumbai.

Otherwise – what a waste of television time.

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