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Brazil is building a $22.5 million sex-themed amusement park called ErotikaLand

Plan for a sex-themed amusement park has us hot and bothered

screen shot 2016-05-04 at 12.55.59 (2) Erotic sculptures will be dotted around Brazil's sex-themed amusement park in Piracicaba,   a city about two hours' outside of São Paulo.

Why would anyone want to ride a bumper car shaped like a giant penis?

Or board an “erotic ghost train” that chug-chugs past go-go dancers? Or play carnival games in a midway where visitors throw darts at boob balloons and toss rings at plastic phalluses and dip magnetic fishing lines in Copulation Pond?

People, I don’t claim any expertise on amusement parks or sex. What I do know, in my limited experience with both, is there is absolutely no overlap* between the two. (*Excludes the long wait times and mysterious headaches.)

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You don’t go to an amusement park to think about sex any more than you go to a casino to meditate or a 7-Eleven to vote. There’s a reason Walt Disney never scratched his chin and told Disneyland planners: “What if the monorail passes through a red light district in Tomorrowland as Tinker Bell gets her freak on?”

screen shot 2016-05-04 at 13.44.38 (2) The park will include a nudist pool and an erotic museum with a permanent collection of erotic art.

So what the Brazilian investors behind ErotikaLand are thinking is not clear. But what they are planning to do — build the world’s first sex theme park by 2018 — suggests Brazil can add “shady business venture” to a list of national concerns that already includes “political crisis, ” “financial uncertainty, ” “Zika virus, ” “Olympic snafus” and “why is Adriana Lima now dressing like a vagrant?”

Here’s what we know about ErotikaLand so far, thanks to a New York Times story: 1. Investors plan to build the park in the city of Piracicaba. 2. The park will be adults-only. 3. Admission will cost $100. 4. “What the customers cannot have, the investors say, is any actual intercourse — at least, not in the park.”

Or as project lead Mauro Morata told the paper: “This won’t be a place for nuns, but it’s not like we’re trying to recreate Sodom and Gomorrah. If attendees want to take things to another level, they can go to a nearby motel — which we will operate.”

Read the full story at Hamilton Spectator, by Vinay Menon



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