Published On: Wed, Dec 17th, 2014

David Rubenstein Thinks He Can Rap and You Have to Watch, Like You Do a Car Crash


Don’t quit your day job is what pretty much everyone in the world is telling David Rubenstein today. This after he embarrassed himself by trying to rap in his company’s annual holiday video.

Rubenstein’s Carlyle Group invested in Dr. Dre’s Beats Electronics in 2013 and for some reason the man thought that the talent to rap was somehow magically transferred to him because of a business connection to a rap star. If you must watch it and have a very strong stomach, kind of like having to look at an awful car crash at the side of the road. If your browser won’t run it, then click here.

For the smarter people among you here are the lyrics to just read:

First he said, “Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? You know, Dr. Dre is an incredible businessman and artist, and he even inspired me to write my own rap.” Unfortunately for all the mic was on.

It takes a lot of brains to do what we do,
Looking for a way to make some dough for you.
Energy, commodity, we do it all,
So pick up the phone and give us a call.
Corporate mezzanine, private equity,
Carlyle Group is the place to be.
We’re global, we’re mobile, we’re aiming to please.
Only goal in mind: serve the LPs.
LPs, LPs, serve the LPs
LPs, LPs, serve the LPs.
LPs, LPs, serve the LPs…
Rubenstein followed the rap by saying, “I haven’t done anything like this since my Bar Mitzvah.”

If now you still feel the urge to actually watch it may we suggest that first you re-read the above while scratching a blackboard.

In other David Rubenstein news, he was on hand to interview Donald Trump at the “Winter Dinner” for The Economic Club of Washington, D.C. Monday night. Rubenstein ‘ is the club’s president.

Trump has been hinting again that he may run for president and Rubenstein’s first question was about that subject. The New York real estate mogul said that he would make a formal decision sometime between March and May of next year.

When asked if he wear’s a toupee Trump said, “It is legitimately my hair. I’ve always combed it the same way. I get abused. It may not be beautiful, but it is mine.

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