Published On: Wed, Aug 20th, 2014

Yes, But Is It Jewish? Sarah Jessica Parker Celebrating the Perfect Cheeseburger

Matthew Broderick Sarah Jessica Parker getty

Sarah Jessica Parker yesterday instagrammed: Thank you @samsifton for changing our lives. We all have never loved a burger so much. This eve’s I cooked all by myself! X sj

For those of you who don’t keep up with everything the way we, here, do, @samsifton is the hashtag of New York Times food editor Sam Sifton, whose recent article on making the perfect burger captured SJ’s heart.

I mean, look at the picture! That’s the cheeseburger Moses was referring to when he prohibited the Israelites from cooking a kid in his mother’s milk.

Sarah Jessica Parker Perfect Cheeseburger

OK, OK, I know, Sarah Jessica Parker is not Jewish—if you were to consult am Orthodox rabbi: her father, whose original name, from the old country, was Bar-Kahn, (Son of Cohen), was certainly of the tribe, but Mom was not. So Sarah Jessica is entitled to all the cheeseburgers her celebrity heart desires.

Neither are her three kids, who, according to the same theoretical Orthodox rabbi we’re consulting, are also not Jewish, by extension.

Her husband Matthew Broderick, on the other hand, comes from the opposite mix: Dad an Irish Catholic, Mom hailing from German and Polish Jews.

Only in America…

Broderick, who stars in “It’s Only a Play, ” which begins previews on Broadway August 28, told tye NY Dailuy News he has struggled with memorizing his lines, his wife, SJ, and their three kids, have been no help, seeing as they’ve been mostly at the beach.

“They’re in Long Island, so they’re useless, ” Broderick joked. “Except on the weekend. When I’ve gone out, she’s helped me. But other than that, it’s been strangers, people on the subway. I say, ‘Will you run this with me?’”

Anyway, the culinary instagram above reminded me of a priest and rabbi joke, where the priest asks the rabbi if he ever tasted a cheeseburger. The rabbi says, you should know, once my congregation was having problems with just this dish, and I received permission from my own rabbi to taste a cheeseburger just once, so when I talk to them I’ll know what it’s all about.

But tell me, the rabbi continues, since we’re being open and honest here, did you ever have sex?

And the priest answers that, yes, one time his congregation experienced some problems in this area and he received permission to try sex one time, so he understands better how to guide them.

Nu, asks the rabbi, wasn’t it better than cheeseburger?

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